Dec 8, 2010

what more can a girl ask for

you have those days where you feel like you are not appreciated.  feel like you are just another face in the crowd.  this past weekend i did not feel like a face in the crowd.  this past weekend i felt truly love and blessed.  

this past weekend i thew a house warming party.  just a little get together for my friends and family to see my new diggs and an excuse for us all to get together since we all have been so busy.  one by one my guest were welcomed in to my home with open arms.

to my surprised they filled my heart with love and hands with gifts.  gifts???  yes gifts.  hosting this party i never imagine anyone would be coming in tow with a gift for my home.

needless to say..i'm am a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. so it was no surprised to anyone to see the gratitude i had 

what i did to deserve any of this is beyond me.  

but i'm truly blessed

Dec 7, 2010


i'm sooo bad.  life has been whipping by me before i have time to wipe the dirty off of my face.  i've been trying to get settled into the new home.

it has been sooo overwhelming, but a good overwhelming.  i've been able to get some things done

but i love being a home owner.

Oct 26, 2010

a home of my own

as of 10/22/2010 i am officially a home owner.  i can't explain all the emotions that went into this purchase. it has been a long time coming.  after settlement i was driving and crying thinking how blessed i am to have this opportunity to own a home where so many in this country cannot even imagine it.  truly i am blessed.  i have fantastic parents who have been right there beside my side during the time.  my supportive friends who i don't know what i would do without them.  

i'm ready to make many memories in my new home

Oct 20, 2010

sorry sorry sorry

i have been m.i.a.  i have to say i've had a busy couple of months.  i am happy to announce that come 10/22 i will be a first time home owner.  that still sounds so strange.  a home owner.  reality hasn't sunk in as of yet.  i haven't started freaking out yet.  ask me come december when i have to make my first mortgage  payment.  (i'm grinning while typing mortgage payment).

i have to say that i have the most amazing parents that any child could have.  they truly do help make my dreams come true.  that have been by my side all through this process and i don't know what i would have done without them.  i hope that i am even half of a parent as they are.  they do not believe that parenting ends when a child turns 18.  the funny thing house is about four houses away from my parents.  i've starting listing ground rules down for my father.  1) no late night walks  2) don't ask who's car is in my driveway 3) don't ask why that car from last night is still in my driveway come the morning 4) no binoculars 5) if another car is in my driveway...its safe to assume i'm not alone 6) my days off are for sleeping coming over to tinker in my yard prior to 10am.  we'll see how these rules work.

i also have to say that i have the most amazing realtor.  i can't believe how lucky i am to have this person.  if anyone is in search of a home in south jersey...let me recommend this lady.  she is amazing.  she follows up with me to make sure i'm comfortable with everything.  she was so understanding during my hunt and never once pressured me into a home or added her opinion unlike others that i have used.  simply simply amazing.  all i have left to find in my life is a companion.

i have to laugh when i think of the movie "he's just not into you"  yeah that's my life and i have to remind myself that each day.  one day.  i know one day.

Sep 14, 2010

i feel so deflated at this moment.  when i think everything is going well, something comes up to pop my bubble.  i feel like i can never get a head.

Sep 7, 2010

I'm soooo excited

this weekend i'll be seeing my brother from another mother.  let me tell you about this guy.  he is the most romantic, caring, honest, funny, handsome guy i know.  i haven't seen him in such a long time.  he is now a father of two and is married to his high school sweetheart.  i'm bursting with excitement i just can't wait.

Aug 28, 2010

such a sad day

today, several of my dear friends lost their father to cancer.  i didn't know their father as well, but have became close to his children.  he's a father of eight children who all have such unique personalities.  two are in law enforcement, one is a marine, two are in healthcare, another in child care and two, i'm not sure what they do.

his one daughter is set to get married in less then three weeks.  i can't imagine her emotions right now.  i know she, as well as the rest of the family, is relieved that he is out of pain.  on the other hand, every girl dreams of her father walking her down the isle.  i know this is one dream of mine.  call me old fashion.  i've been thinking of my own parents and what i would do if i wasn't able to talk to one of them in person anymore.  i seriously would have to be committed.  maybe not for long, but for a short bit.  i have made them my life as others would make their spouse or children theirs.  i haven't found the loml nor do i have children.

a few years back i had my scare with my own father.  he had a small stroke.  it scared the bejesus out of me.  not knowing what was happening.  how he would be.  i was soooo scared to think my father would not be the same.  he came through it as well as one can.  no real side effects.  i still think his memory is not as well as it once was, but that could also be of old age.

life is so precious and we make the best out of it.  the following picture was actually taken today not knowing that my friends father was going to pass.  the man below allows me to be the woman i am today and i am eternally grateful for that.

my poppy and i

Aug 27, 2010

the new job

so on the 16th of this month, i started a new job.  same field...different company.  so far i am really enjoying the people i work with.  it's a lot less stress for me which i think i need at this point in my life.  there is soooooooo much i am trying to accomplish in my life to feel like an adult.  when i mentioned this to my doctor, she asked what those goals where.  they are as followed.....

  1. get a new job (check)
  2. purchase my first home (banging my head against the wall on this one)
  3. find the love of my life (banging my head even harder against the wall on this one)
i guess part of me is waiting for the switch from young adult to mature adult to flip.  i guess it doesn't help that i'm googling over a 23 year old.  not that he acts childish, but i'm sure others cringe at this thought that this thirty coughfivecough is interested in this young man.  who the eff cares.  he is simply adorable and funny and sexy.  i'm sure he knows i'm crushing on him, but i'm toooooo scared to ask if he knows.

i'm sure my doctor wanted to add a number four to my list which would be to lose weight.  i whole heartily agree with her, but cannot find my motivation.  i think feel it, but it's not quite there.  if i could lost just twenty pounds right now i know i can continue to lose more.  i need someone to help me.  i admit it...i need help.  

Aug 25, 2010

i am torn

i am torn between what is right, what is socially acceptable and how i feel.  i am smitten with this young man who happens to be just that...young.  he's 12 years my junior and at times i can hear that song mrs. robinson playing in my head.  granted i don't know what or how he thinks of me, but i find myself thinking of him.  granted we are in two different places in our lives, but there is not that large of a gap.

oh what to do

Aug 24, 2010

if you really knew me

so my girl brittany had done this and i thought it would be fun....

if you really knew me...

*you would know that i was born in jersey but grew up in iowa.

*you would know that i feel like i've past the loml

*you would know that i look innocent, but really am not

*you would know that i will never live on a second floor of an apartment building

*you would know i love my friends as much as i love my family

*you would know that i'm secretly lonely

*you would know that i feel like the peacekeeper of my family

*you would know that i have a secret crush on a boy 12 years my junior

*you would know that i'm slipping away from my oldest friend

*you would know that i desperately want children

Aug 17, 2010

i give up

i cannot understand men.

Aug 11, 2010

is there

someone for everyone??  i'm starting to question this.  also is age really important?  how did life become so complicated.  i want answer and i want them now.  i want to see into the future.  is it bright for me.  am i happy.  i realize that these are answers only i can answer or never will know the answer to.  i just want to know.  is that wrong.  if these questions do not have the answers i'm looking for i want to change it so that they will be.  i want to know the feeling of being in love.  to love and to be loved.

Aug 6, 2010

i quit

so on monday of this week, i submitted my resignation.  this has been a long time coming.  i've mentioned from time to time how i work for a shitty ass company.  really i do.  so when my coo asked to speak with me on monday, i really was thinking it would be more of getting to know whats been wrong and how they can fix it.  how wrong i was.

i sat in this meeting for an hour and half leaving with me shaking my head.  i explained to my coo how disappointed i was in the company.  how for three months i worked with one day off a week and to even get that day off, i had to find someone to cover for me.  i explained how i had placed my life on hold for this company, not able to make plans within my personal life since i never knew when i would have a day off.  work for a company for two and half years with no performance review or increase.  in turn i was told how i was an inexperience manager, over my head and was the reason of losing a contract.  WOW really????  then in the next breath this person would tell me how she hasn't had a problem with my account and doesn't want to lose me as a manager.

i just know that i am leaving with my head held high.  knowing that i WAS/AM an experience, talented, dedicated, ambitious, driven, hard working, fair manager.  don't you dare, ms coo, think you can beat me down cause what you just did was built me up to laugh as you lose another account due to me...from leaving.

Aug 3, 2010

do you believe?

if you could speak with a family member/friend/lover that has passed..who would it be?  do you believe in mediums???

at first i had my doubts of mediums and their skills.....that was until this evening.  my cousin had a medium over her house this evening who channeled our grandmother.  my cuz called me this evening to tell me that our grandmother was asking for me.  i can't tell you how this send shivers down my spine.  this is the grandmother who i was not close to.  i've always had this feeling that she disliked me and how if i had the chance to speak with anyone that had passed, it would be her.  of course this would be something normal a grandmother would do, but then the story gets even more interesting.  she had mentioned my mother.  the medium called my mother by her "nickname" then her full name.  he stated that my grandmother knew my mother was the one and how she's worried about my mother's headaches and stress.  many in my family does not know this (not even my sister) that my father was married once before.  it was a very short marriage.  along with that, two hours prior to my cuz calling me, i was arguing with my mother regarding meds her doctor gave her regarding her stress.  my mother just found out today that she will be going to 12 hour shifts and stated how she's stressing about it.  i don't know if this is coincidence or not, but it sure does make me believe that my grandmother is around as well as others.  and what put the icing on the cake...the medium repeated a common phrase my grandmother would say. if we were about to go somewhere she would always say"i'm coming i'm coming i just need to put my shoes on".
have you ever made a dicision and just know it's for the best.  that's how i feel.  come the 16th of this month, i will be starting a new job.  i'm very excited for several reasons....

  1. it will give me more of a life
  2. better pay
  3. better benefits
  4. less responsiblity
i'm sooo very excited and i hope that this will be the best thing for me

so its the end has come

after two and a half years, i have decided to leave my current company.  this is a good thing.  a real good thing.  this last year and a half i have been under utilized as a manager, employee and as a person.  i have been used and abused.  its time for nanners to think of nanners.  i'm excited to start my new adventure.

Jul 26, 2010

the search party has eneded

i apologize for the delay in writing.  it has been close to a month since i've posted last.  i'll catch you up...

  • i still work for a shitty company
  • i'm still in search for love
  • have, once again, started looking at homes
  • started thinking of myself as mrs. robinson
  • started cleaning out my grandmother's house which is bitter sweet knowing that it soon won't be in the family any longer
  • have been turned down for three jobs
  • went skinny dipping the weekend before last.....AND IT WAS FUN!!!!
so i've been keeping busy as you can see which is no excuse to forget about the blogger friends.

thanks vic for asking where i have been.  LOL

Jun 26, 2010

remember me

will you remember me if i'm gone.  what would you remember about me.

i hope i have been kind to you
non judgemental

will you remember me

will i be missed

Jun 22, 2010

i've been featured..i've been featured

so today was a good day at work.  i was actually surprised that several of my employee were excited to see me upon my return from vacation.  they gave me hugs.  these are the two employees that give me the most headaches.  we are going through some changes at work that is causing many to be anxious.

then this evening i logged into the bloggers club and found out that i was featured .  i feel sooo honored and touched by the lovely words by vic.  i admit...i am addicted to blogging.  i might not write as much as other, but i enjoy reading all the trials and tribulations of life through the eyes of others.  i have come to know some fabulous ladies like brittanyrachel and of course vic.  i've been talking to all my friends about my blog.

so thank you all for allowing me into your lives through your words and pictures.

Jun 19, 2010

back and not fully relaxed

so i went to the shore this past week with the parental units.  let me just say that it wasn't the most memorial time down at the shore.  i was sick as sick can get.  the wednesday before last i came down with this horrible fever, chills and ear pain.  by late wednesday night, the fever lifted but not soon before my mother came to take care of me.  have i mentioned i am a HUGE baby when sick.  so she was kind enough to stay the night to keep an eye on me and clean my apartment.  the next day i didn't have a fever but man did my throat feel like it was all cut up.  i was praying that i would be better prior to heading to the shore.  no such luck.  i suffered through three days of work with not having the ability to eat or drink.  it was H O R R I B L E.  no lie.

so saturday, before heading down to the shore, i decided to stop by the drs office to pick up some good drugs.  my thinking was that a good day and a half of good drugs would make me feel much better to enjoy some of the time down at the shore.  wrong again.  the first few night, again my poor mother, had to deal with a 35 year old baby.  you would think i was dying or something.  still couldn't eat nor drink.  the dr on saturday stated that i had sas.  sick as sh*t.  yup those were his words.  by the time my father got to the shore, the general consensus was to take me to urgent care since i was not getting any better.  the dr. i saw on saturday was not my primary doctor and i don't feel took a good look at me.  the drugs he gave me did nothing.

long story short, i spent seven sunny, warm, clear days at the bed.  i can finally eat and drink, but cannot hear out of my right ear.

with all that said, i hope my luck changes so that i may be the lucky recipient of this coach wristlet giveaway (grinning)

Jun 7, 2010

where does the time go

so today is my father's 66th birthday.  he doesn't look 66.  sure doesn't act 66.  but his body is 66.

today i caught myself remembering back when i was little and thinking how my father would never get old.  i admit its sad and scary to think that one day my father won't be on the other end of the line when i call to hear him say "i love you baby girl" or to do the funny dance into a hug when i see him.  granted there are days that i would like to knock sense into him and make him see things through my eyes.  i know that will never happen.  i'm proud to say i am a daddy's girl.  you mess with me, you mess with him.  even my sisters "it" (aka fiancee/boyfriend) found that out.

both my parents have been very supportive of my sister and i while growing up.  ensuring we had everything we needed, and in my sisters case, everything she wanted.  he's a gentle soul, but likes others to think he's tough.  cracks crazy jokes, sounds, facial expressions whenever he can which has caused him to be band from church by my mother.  he's very smart (which i tend not think admit) and seems to know the answers to everything, except for one.  who will be the man in my life when you are gone.

my one and only have my father walk me down the aisle when i get married.  i know he'll be the one crying harder then i will be when i turn to him and ask "do i look pretty poppy?".  i just hope i can find the man to marry before i lose my chance.

so to my father, or poparoonie as i like to call him, happy birthday from your baby girl.

Jun 1, 2010


many many years ago there where these two little girls

who never really know the type of bond two could, should or would have

as they got older, they started to grow from young girls

into women

all thanks to two people who fell in love

May 31, 2010

do you ever feel like the world is closing in on you.  finding your emotions are like splatter paint...all over the place.  that's how i'm feeling right this moment.  i just want to crawl up under my covers and sleep for days on end.  do not want anyone to visit me, talk to me, email me...nothing. 

lately all i can say is how i'm terrible tired.  this can't be right.  i wake up in the morning and tell my self " is going to be a good day" and then i run into people. moody people that say something that just gets under your skin.  irritate me to the point where i can imagine my arm lifting from my side, winding up to gain momentum to bitch slap the person across the face.  only in a perfect world (sigh).  it's that or either cry my eyes out in frustration. 

it's a never ending battle that i fight on a daily, weekly, month, yearly basis. 

May 30, 2010

getting to know me...round 2

it's sunday and time for another round of "getting to know you" by mannland
1. Have you ever snooped around someone else's house?
2. Can guys and girls be friends?
3. Can you curl your tongue?
4. Have you ever stolen anything?
5. Would you rather talk on the phone or text?
6. Memorial Day plans?
7. What do you do to relax?
8. Do you do anything to honor those that have died fighting for our freedom?

May 29, 2010

have we forgotten

what the true meaning of memorial day is.  to some it's a time away from work, a trip down to the shore, time to be with family or simply a time to have fun.  i hope we all take time to reflect on the lives that have been lost to serve and protect our country.  think of the families that gave us these proud men and women.  i myself, never though of joining the military.  simply put, i was not brave enough.  i thank all that were brave enough to grant me the freedom i have. 

May 25, 2010

and the hits keep on coming

so today has been a roller coaster of a day.  this morning we got up early to take my mother to the hospital where she had a cardiac cauterisation done.  if you are not sure what this is, it is when they insert a thin tube in a artery from your groin to your heart and then have some dye highlight your heart to make sure it's not blocked.  my mother has been suffering from shortness of breath and fatigue for some time now.  it was emotional up to the time we got her results.  all in all...there is no blockage WHICH IS GREAT NEWS!!!!  i know that you all don't know me personally.  i tend to have a witty sense of humor.  so all this morning i was teasing my mother about not getting the brazilian wax done (even apologize to the dr) as well as stating to my mother how it's important to meet the men who will be seeing her vajayjay.  i told my father don't be's all medical.  i even went as far as took photos.  yessireebobber i took photos.  they are on my phone so i am not able to up load them here.

so you're probably thinking...well nanners, that's not THAT bad.
oh sit back and relax.

for about five months now i've been interviewing with this larger company so i can get out of my smaller company that sucks ass.  i have had great interviews time after time.  found out today (not by the company itself) that i didn't get the job.  COME ON  i need a new job.  when i say my current company sucks really does suck ass.  my orders are placed on hold since invoices have not been paid.  there is no support from the "corporate office" and the owner looks like fat bastard from austin powers.  not that the last point has any merit, but damn its nice to say from time to time.  all the managers are under paid and over worked.  i'm sure it's everywhere.

so your probably still, well you still have a job

true at that.

so my day continues to facebook

can i just say how you have to love facebook. it is a worth of information whether people know it or not. not important information as in world events. i'm speaking of juicy gossip get on the phone right now and share that crap type of information. i admit i am one nosey person. if i come to your house, yes i'll snoop through your medicine cabinet or open drawers. i don't know why i do this except that i'm nosey. i wave my flag proud on this. with that said....

there was this "guy" who was in my life for a period of time several years back. nothing "facebook official" but i thought we had something.  come to find out, that if it isn't facebook official, it's nothing. granted this guy saw every inch of me, but STILL it was nothing...according to him... he moved a couple of states away for a new job (okay he moved across country) after leaving the area i was in.  after arriving, he had this notion that he wanted a relationship. the funny thing is...he didn't think of a relationship with me. when i brought this epiphany to the lime light, he stated how he didn't know he wanted a relationship while in my area. hmm. i didn't know moving thousands of miles aways brings relationships to a better view. okay..whatever. so needless to say it broke my heart knowing that he was in a "facebook official" relationship with another women. it didn't last, and yes i laughed at that fact. now come to find out that he's in yet another relationship. wtf. how did I find out about this relationship? the same way i found out about the other one..snooped on his page. no no no no. i did not hack into his page, but when someone changes their status from single to in a relationship, it's a damn good clue. i'm still waiting for facebook to come up with the status of 
"yes asshole i know i'm single and no it's not by effing choice"

i digress

May 23, 2010

getting to know you sunday

i'm participating in keely's  weekly questions.  this is my first

Here are the questions:

  1. Do you have a fetish? yes...having my nose clean and nothing hanging out.
  2. Do you sing in the shower? i do cause i don't have to worry about others putting ears plugs in ( click here to see what i mean)
  3. Who was your first crush? my first crush was a boy name jeff (last name is a ketchup) back in the third grade.  i even carved our names into my tree in the front yard.  he moved away and never knew what happened to him. 
  4. What do you think is the best manly trait a guy could have? a good hugger.  i love hugs
  5. Do you sleep naked? i'm not ashamed to admit it...i do sleep in the nude.
  6. What do you do when (you think) no one is looking? when no one is looking (this is gross) but i pick my nose. read #1.
  7. What's the first thing you do when you go online? go onto facebook to see what my peeps are saying
  8. Summer is.....? summer is bbqs with friends and family, late night drives with the window open, the smell of the ocean and the feel of the sand between my toes.  

May 22, 2010

heart ache

i was hoping for a relaxing weekend with family, but it turns out that i'm sitting home with heart ache.  for many years i have felt like the peace keeper between my family.  this is a lot of burden on someone who only wants everyone to just be happy.  i can't say that other's don't think of my feelsing, but i cannot handle conflict.

May 19, 2010

thirsty thursday

i'm all about the adult beverages. my mood changes from event to event, but i tend to resort back to my comfort drink which is a malibu bay breeze. it's sooooooooooooooooooo yummy. oh how i could go for one right at this moment. i'm hoping to have a relaxing weekend, but i never know until the time comes. it's typically my weekend off, but i need to put a few hours in on saturday. i was trying to organize a camping trip with my peeps, but it seems that the ball game is more entertaining. so it might be another lonely weekend.

do you ever say

as i was enjoying a nice soak in the tub, i was thinking to myself how i would never let myself get too fat where i can't fit into the tub and safely get out by myself.  it seems i find a new excuse or focus point about how fat i really am not, and fail to find a way to lose this weight.  as in...i won't let myself get as fat as size "x".  or i won't allow myself look that fat.  i laugh at myself cause i am masking the real truth.  i am that fat.   i've started buying clothes in the size i said i would never.   i see pictures of myself and notice see that i have more rolls then the local grocery store.  ugh.  i don't know how to start or even where to begin.  i want to be healthy, not skinny, but healthy.  i don't think anyone really thinks "oh i want to be fat".  i've always been a bigger girl and remember the taunts i would receive when i was younger.  it's not easy trying to lose weight and i'm trying to block out what and how society wants me to look.  every week my mother comes to me with a new diet that she has heard or seen trying to play it off as if it is for her.  give me a break.  i might act stupid, but i am far from it.  my father brought up weight lost surgery out of the blue as i was driving through dunkin donuts.  a) i was flabbergasted and b) yes i did order an extra donut to comfort me.  thank god it was sunny out and that i had sunglasses on so neither one of my parents could see the tears welling up in my eyes.  am i comfortable with myself...yes i am.  i just don't think others are comfortable with me.

simply put...i'm in love with food

does anyone else say these lies to themselves or am i alone in this thought process.

May 16, 2010

you call that a weekend?????

it's been such a llllloooooonnnnnngggggg weekend.  i was assisting at another unit within my company and well the person i was helping i would like to punch in the face.  he is this 22 year old cry baby.  really he is.  he thinks that just because he had to work some extra hours these last few months that he is some super manager.  reality...he's far from it.  i wanted to leave a pair of pampers on his desk with a little note to say grow up a*(&^le.  oh how i would have loved to do that, but he's not worth my energy.  i know i'm a better professional then he'll ever be.

i would have love to spend my time enjoying the outside.  i need to find some energy.  everyday i feel spent.  no enthusiasm to do anything.  i hope that i can get out of this slump.  ifs frustrating and tiring.  i feel like a blob.  

May 10, 2010

i'm thinking of quitting my job for a new career

so this past friday i've tried my hand at singing. it was a good time had by all, except those who had to listen to me sing.  take a gander.

a couple days have past

since i wrote last.  i've had a couple busy days and lazy ones with that. spent the weekend with the parental units and did a little shopping.  took my mom to lunch on saturday since sunday would have been wicked crowded.  this way i knew we would have good service and special attention.  i hope she had a good weekend, i never know.  this is one woman who can never make up her mind about anything.  it gets frustrating at times.  i don't think she knows what she wants.  how do you deal with that.  my father asked me late last night if i thought my mother had a nice mother day.  i don't know.  i can't help someone who does not know themself what  they want.  don't get my wrong, i love my mother from here to the moon, but she is one who can drive me up the wall.  at times i feel like i have to ensure that my parents are happy and entertain.  and they wonder why i'm single.  i feel like i would be shunning them if i did spend time with a man.  i feel obligated to spend my days off with them when all i really want to do is sleep.  i guess i need to find a man first.  am i alone in this thinking.

May 2, 2010

mother of mine

i am blessed to have a beautiful, talented, caring, giving, amazing, patient, extraordinary, hands down simply the best mother (no matter what my sister says) known to me.  i know i know.  i'm not bias, but am very thankful for this woman who brought me into this world.  i know it hasn't been an easy road she has taken.  she has given herself to numerous amount people without asking for anything.

 i have no words to describe her strength and courage that i have seen in my thirty some years.  as i have grown older, i want to turn back time to remove any and all pain that she has gone through.  at times i feel i am the parent and want to shelter her from the evils of the world.  even to this day, i hate to see when she is stressed from work, had her feelings hurt, disappointed by others or simply in pain.

these last two years she has gone through a tremendous amount of physical challenges from being attacked by a dog, a broken pelvis, a vicious infection and now some heart problems.  and no matter what i'm doing or where i'm at, she's always taking care of me or my father or my sister.  i admit, and am not ashamed to do so, in saying how i speak with my mother at least once a day if not more.  last summer i taught her how to text.  she is now a texting fool.  it's nice to receive a early morning text from my momma letting me know to have a good day and that she loves me.

i only wish that i can be half the woman she is when i grow up.

my mother

May 1, 2010

a sad saturday night

so it's saturday night and here i am laying in bed...alone.  how sad is this.  i've noticed that as i have become older, that its hard to meet men of substance.  this evening i had a guy ask me to "hang out".  sure, i said, where would you like to go.  he didn't know.  come to find out he wanted to "hang out" at his place. now i know i'm no dummy, but that's just asking for one thing.  so i politely told him another time.  that is soooo frustrating.  men only seeking a quick fix.  is it me????  dating has become exhausting.  i want to wear a sign that says, caution...i can have an intelligent conversation.  the last few years i've met some real crazies.  some who haven't grown up and probably won't before they die.  some who are more lost then waldo and they cannot even find themselves. i just want to yell and scream.  i've tried those dating sites.  yes all of them, with no luck.  again i feel men use those for a outlet to get laid.  ugh.  now don't get me wrong.  nanner has needs, but nanner is looking for more then just a wham bam thank you mame type of guy.  are they still out there?  or, are there any left?  please send them my way.

Apr 29, 2010

feeling like crap

i'm one person who becomes a big baby when i'm sick.  for some reason yesterday and today i have felt simply horrible.  and to top it all off, i noticed i took sinus meds that were expired.  great.  so then as i was digging (yes digging) through my linen closet for other meds, it took me about five minutes to open the damn thing.  why do they have to make those packages soo damn hard to open.  oh that rights..cause there are stupid people that like to leave meds around where kids can get a hold of them.  granted i know that kids become smart and figure out how to get to things they want, but ensure you lock up meds.  right about now i could like to cut my head off and throw it out the window.  really i could.  on top of all that...i rather not go to the hell hole i call work.  don't want to deal with my employees on payday.  i feel like raw meat thrown at a hungry lion.  but to make my day better, bones and greys was on.

Apr 27, 2010

people come and go

found out today that a former resident of mine has passed.  this is one of the downfalls of my job.  losing these precious lives.  this woman had an amazing life.  the stories her daughters would tell me of her were amazing.  working on a cruise ship many many moons ago and then sneaking off to come to the promise land known as the US of A.  i always giggled at her scarfs that she would wear and her calling me "nurrssa".  i'm not a nurse by any means.  i know she is relaxing and enjoying all the cookies and pineapple juice she can drink in her special place. always made me smile and i am blessed having the chance to meet you and be part of your life.  god bless

if you are wondering

yes i know i am not using caps.  thought it would give a different look.  i like to be different

about work again.....

many of you are going to get tired of hearing me b*&%h about work, but hey...then don't read.  for those that don't know, i work in health care.  i work at a local nursing home providing nutritious meal for our residents.  i find it very rewarding.  nursing homes (aka long term care) i feel, have received such poor reviews over the years.  i know i had my thoughts of nursing homes prior to working here and both of my parents are also in health care.  my one beef (and not the only one) with people working in these facilities is that these residents depend on us.  many of them do not have family or family that do not want to be bothered by them.  this is their homes.  would you want someone to come into your home and treat you with such disrespect?  i think not.  i think that is why i love my job.  i can make someones day a little brighter.  coming into a ltc facility is not the end of all.  many of these individuals improve in health.  truly they do.  they eat better, they move better, their hygiene is better.  as much as i would like to b*&ch slap some of these nurses and even my employees, i love what i do.  if you ltc is a option for a love one, do your research.  i highly recommend a non-profit facility for the residents are exposed to more therapy programs and activities.

Apr 26, 2010


whoever said being the boss is the best...never was a boss. i come to work shaking my head wondering how these people ever manage to live their lives. its crazy that i consistently have to remind them what they have been doing for the last six months. really????? and they wonder why i always look pissed. please..if there is any advice out there to help deal with ignorate employees feel free to share with me.

Apr 25, 2010


so i've decided to start a blog. why you may ask. i need to sort though the crap in my life and i figured words would help. also to see if anyone is listening. so sit back and relax. some days i may be boring and some days i may be crazy. but everyday i'll be me.